We sometimes hear that the Bibleâs expectations for loving our neighbors are unrealistic in the modern era. Â In Matthew 19, we find that Jesusâ teachings were considered unrealistic in His era.
First, Jesus describes marriage as Godâs joining one man and one woman for their lifetime together (19:3-9). Â Jesusâ own disciples find this impractical (19:10).
Then, Jesus offers His time to little children, running against His disciplesâ certainty that Jesus had better things to do than mind children (19:13-15).
Then, Jesus offends a potential rich donor (19:16-22). Â Jesus was glad to have the ârich young rulerâ follow Him, but Jesus didnât want his money. Â Instead, Jesus told the man to give his money to the poor and follow Him. Â When the young man leaves sorrowful, the disciples wonder if anyone can be saved (19:25). Â Sounds like it was a hard day!
Today when we hear the Bibleâs teachings about sexuality, about valuing children, and about money, we also are tempted to think Jesus doesnât understand what weâre going through. Â But when I look at Jesusâ response in each of these three cases, I think Jesus sees us as the unrealistic ones.
In the first case, people have wondered what exactly the disciples meant when they said, âIf such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marryâ (19:10). Â One suggestion is that the male disciples thought it would become impossible for men to keep their wives under control if they knew a Christian man could never divorce them.
Jesus knows, however, that marriage can work based on love and respect rather than fear and threat. Â But if they'd really rather not get married, He also knows there are indeed men who have given up all sexual seeking for the kingdom. Â âLet the one who is able to receive this receive itâ (19:12). Â Jesus knows whatâs possible and what actually happens. Â He chose the single life. Â He has borne every temptation we have.Â
Again, in the last case, Jesusâ demand seems impossible. Â How can the rich young ruler give up everything? Â Rather than follow Jesus' command, the young man leaves âsorrowful.â Â Why do we choose these sorrowful paths rather than believe that what Jesus teaches is not only possible, but a way that is blessed? Â The disciples had given up âeverything,â they report. Â Regardless of what they had given, Jesus truly had left much greater treasure than the rich young ruler, and He would give it all on the cross.
Despite all Jesus gave, He is a man at peace and full of love. Â We see Jesus looking with compassion (cf. Mark 10:21) on the sorrowful rich man. Â We see Him insisting to the flummoxed disciples that there is a better way to build a family. Â And we see Him taking children into His arms. Â We see His ministry full of love.
Why is it that we find it unrealistic, then? Â âMany who are first will be last, and the last firstâ (19:30). Â When this worldâs natural way is to teach us to put ourselves first, Jesusâ teachings are backwards. Â But itâs when we put others first that we flourish, even under a cross. Â The husband and wife who make an absolute commitment to one another have a freeing foundation of expected love. Â The mother and father who put the blessings of children ahead of career find a delightful fountain of love. Â The Christian who gives generously finds ironically that, in giving, he lacks less!