We sometimes hear that the Bible’s expectations for loving our neighbors are unrealistic in the modern era.  In Matthew 19, we find that Jesus’ teachings were considered unrealistic in His era.

First, Jesus describes marriage as God’s joining one man and one woman for their lifetime together (19:3-9).  Jesus’ own disciples find this impractical (19:10).

Then, Jesus offers His time to little children, running against His disciples’ certainty that Jesus had better things to do than mind children (19:13-15).

Then, Jesus offends a potential rich donor (19:16-22).  Jesus was glad to have the “rich young ruler” follow Him, but Jesus didn’t want his money.  Instead, Jesus told the man to give his money to the poor and follow Him.  When the young man leaves sorrowful, the disciples wonder if anyone can be saved (19:25).  Sounds like it was a hard day!

Today when we hear the Bible’s teachings about sexuality, about valuing children, and about money, we also are tempted to think Jesus doesn’t understand what we’re going through.  But when I look at Jesus’ response in each of these three cases, I think Jesus sees us as the unrealistic ones.

In the first case, people have wondered what exactly the disciples meant when they said, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry” (19:10).  One suggestion is that the male disciples thought it would become impossible for men to keep their wives under control if they knew a Christian man could never divorce them.

Jesus knows, however, that marriage can work based on love and respect rather than fear and threat.  But if they'd really rather not get married, He also knows there are indeed men who have given up all sexual seeking for the kingdom.  “Let the one who is able to receive this receive it” (19:12).  Jesus knows what’s possible and what actually happens.  He chose the single life.  He has borne every temptation we have. 

Again, in the last case, Jesus’ demand seems impossible.  How can the rich young ruler give up everything?  Rather than follow Jesus' command, the young man leaves “sorrowful.”  Why do we choose these sorrowful paths rather than believe that what Jesus teaches is not only possible, but a way that is blessed?  The disciples had given up “everything,” they report.  Regardless of what they had given, Jesus truly had left much greater treasure than the rich young ruler, and He would give it all on the cross.

Despite all Jesus gave, He is a man at peace and full of love.  We see Jesus looking with compassion (cf. Mark 10:21) on the sorrowful rich man.  We see Him insisting to the flummoxed disciples that there is a better way to build a family.  And we see Him taking children into His arms.  We see His ministry full of love.

Why is it that we find it unrealistic, then?  “Many who are first will be last, and the last first” (19:30).  When this world’s natural way is to teach us to put ourselves first, Jesus’ teachings are backwards.  But it’s when we put others first that we flourish, even under a cross.  The husband and wife who make an absolute commitment to one another have a freeing foundation of expected love.  The mother and father who put the blessings of children ahead of career find a delightful fountain of love.  The Christian who gives generously finds ironically that, in giving, he lacks less!